Dirk Diggler

You really can't call yourself a true administrator unless you have a porn story. Mr. Dirk had been receiving some ribbing from some young ladies and felt he had to defend his honor. This brain child went to the restroom, brought Mr. Winkie to full attention, and snapped a photo with his cellphone. Yes, his cellphone!

Naturally, the ladies told on him and the full monty was sent to my office. When I asked him why he did it he responded, "But Mr. >>> they were saying I was small and I told them I wasn't but they didn't believe me." As I picked up the phone to call Dirk's parents, I hoped upon all hopes that I got Mr. Dirk. No such luck. Let me just tell you that telling a mother that her little darling took a snap shot of his "package" isn't easy.

As I reflect back on that day, I can't get the snap shot out of my head, and I don't mean Dirk. Oh! That image has thankfully faded away. The image that stays with me to this day is the look on dear old ma's face when I showed her the picture. The conference that followed was rather embarassing, but the mother did offer this as she walked out my door. "Well I guess they won't call him small anymore."