My Peoples! (Petey-Part I)

I have quickly learned that there is a reason for all the insanity in our schools. I hear my teachers frequently ask the question, "Why is this student the way they are?" I often retort, "Have you met dear old mom and dad?"

The classic case for this is one of my all time favorite students, whom I will simply call Petey (remember names are changed to protect the guilty). I put part 1 in the title because dear ole Petey litters my story collection. Petey is your atypical high school student. He might be 5 ft. tall, 80 pounds wet, and bears a striking resemblance to Beetle Juice from the Howard Stern show. Petey was a professional booty grabber and the only student I know who could log 3 office referrals in one day for sexual harassment. The sad thing about Petey is he really can't help himself. In fact, when he wasn't groping girls he was violating himself.

After about 2 days of school, I scheduled a conference with Petey's mom. She was about 6 ft. 240lbs., and I felt certain that she was going to kill Petey. Repeatedly throughout the meeting she would yell at Petey to kindly remove his hand from his package. I tried to lay out the problems we were having with Petey, but the meeting started down hill as she began talking to herself.

Petey then made his big mistake. He started to explain himself. Petey's mom quickly interrupted and yelled, "Oh Laud! My peoples almost came out." I am not sure who those people are, but thank God they stayed in her. The meeting ended shortly thereafter, and I haven't watched The Exorcist since. As for Petey, I understood him a little better after that day. It is a sad statement that most of the questions I have regarding a particular student can always be answered when I meet the parents.