9th Graders Should Attend School on Pluto

There ought to be a constitutional amendment against allowing 9th graders to be apart of any high school. I only say this because, if you add up the total number of discipline referrals for grades 10-12 the number will still be less than those for your 9th grade. You can call it puberty, hormones, temporary insanity, a chemical imbalance, or just stupidity.

For example:


A group of 9th graders thought it would be funny to take a small container of liquid candy and replace the substance with a man made liquid ( I apologize in advance for another urine blog. It is noteworthy that the gentleman in "Who needs bathrooms?" was a 9th grader too). The students then searched for their prey. One dumb schmuck actually believed that 4 guys really wanted to watch him drink some sour candy. The result of all this stupidity was a day and a half of work.

I spent the rest of one day trying to figure out who peed in the container. I used the DNA analysis bluff to finally grab a confession (DNA and other bluffs only work on 9th graders). The victim's mother wanted a whole battery of test to be conducted on the urinator. I told her I would try my best. The victim's dad wasn't nearly as mad at the 4 students, although he seemed extremely disappointed that his son didn't clean somebody's clock. He asked me what would have happened if his son had beat one of them up. I told him that under the circumstances, nothing (stupid rookie mistake on my part).

The next day one of the watchers (the only one not suspended) got a fat lip from the victim. As I was suspending him, he told me that his dad told him not to come home unless he decked somebody for the incident. Dear old dad didn't argue the suspension. I told him retaliation for a most grievous offense did have a statute of limitations. Maybe, he ought to go to Pluto.