For the 9 years I spent in the classroom, I used to document all of the times I let some turd push my buttons. When I moved into administration, I felt confident that the position would shield me from direct stupidity. Boy was I naive'. As both a teacher and as a administrator, I was pretty much text book, meaning I handled discipline issues in a fair and predictable manner. All the while resisting the urge to behave in a manner more indicative of a human and less like a dutiful educator. With this in mind I have built two theories which I believe would instantly improve our schools.
Theory I- One free Bitch Slap a Year
In an average school year your typical high school/middle school teacher will fall victim to hand gestures, dirty looks, pranks, lies to parents, and the annual good cussing (female teachers are usually called bitches and male teachers are usually called dicks). Take in mind this is just your average year. Special years usually involve graffiti to personal property or the good ole rolled yard. I firmly believe that every teacher should receive one free bitch slap a year. Imagine one freebie to reign them in, just one smack to fix the idiot whose parents allow them to act like heathens at school. Better yet, why don't we allow for one free bitch slap that can be used on any student or their parents. Forget NCLB! Theory 1 would work.
Theory II-Justifiable Homicide
In lieu of theory 1, I can only come up with one possible solution. Start documenting all the instances of student/parent disrespect, rudeness, and downright evildom so that your defense attorney has a case for justifiable homicide.
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8 comments:
one suggestion for improvement:
two bitch slaps per year.
the first one shows that you're willing to go there, and you are allowed to give this first one during the first pep assembly of the year.
Reading your blog has reminded me, yet again, why I quit teaching!! I sure would have LOVED to have those "freebie" shots per year. :-)
Whose in charge of the curriculum at your school?
Is it monitored daily?
Just as a casual observer.. adding up the amt of time each task actually lasted. well, it's the +reason+ today's communities think educators are slackers
I don't.. but I DO KNOW many places (schools, central offices) are TOP heavy
Of course you've been around the block, so you've seen it too
Best,
SL
The short answer to your question is that I am in charge of the curriculum, but I depend on well educated college graduates for its delivery. Less you forget that these slackers do have degrees. In terms of how long or much it is monitored depends on what happens over the course of any given day. With 1 week of school left and 11 substitutes the curriculum gets monitored very little.
Teachers have all the fun. Can the office and custodial staff have a slap too?
One of our teachers has a great policy in her class. Each time a student doesn't turn in work, she hands him a slip and he has to write down why. She saves them. Those have saved her during so many meetings when mom and dad are convinced the teacher is too hard on precious child or the grade is wrong or whatever the excuse de jour is. The reason: kids don't usually lie on those documents, or when they do, it's outragously unbelievable. They'll write "I didn't turn in the assignment because I didn't feel like it." Or, "I didn't turn it in because my doctor said I couldn't write." Mom and/or Dad, knowing that kid hadn't been to the doctor, can't defend that statement, and when a kid flat out says "I didn't feel like it" there is also nothing to defend. It stops them in their tracks. Those papers have turned those contentious meetings right around.
Almost as good as a bitch slap.
Love the bitch slap idea....maybe you should start your own boot camp, I mean school!
oooh i like the idea about why no work was turned in, may steal.
I love Theory 1 - it would feel so good...sound so good when you make contact just right!
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