News Flash- Kids Lie

I offered my assistant principal a bet to begin the year. It was our standard bet (Snickers bar and a coke). We wagered on how long in the school year it would be until we had a parent utter these infamous words, "My child does not lie to me." We started school in mid-August and I placed the over/under in September. My foolish colleague chose the over.



I sure do love a good Snickers bar.



I would like to introduce you to the Clampetts (Remember the TV show The Beverly Hillbillies). Jethro, bless his heart, is your classic under-achiever. He is the first student I have come across for whom it was mathematically impossible to pass with 16 weeks to go in school. Dear old dad, Jed suffered from parent goggle syndrome and what I believe is strong evidence of Alzheimer's.



Here is my case:





September:

Jed stormed in my office demanding that I explain why Jethro got kicked off the school bus.



I said "Well sir, you see you can't threaten to beat up the bus driver."



Jed proceeded to tell me how Jethro was innocent and that he has never lied to dear old dad. I told him that normally I would just take his word for it, but golly gee I got it on video. He did the classic 180 as he watched the video. I felt a little bit like the guy on cheaters who reveals the infidelity. After they left I told my assistant that it was nice to bring another parent out of la la land.



November:

Jed stormed into my office and demanded to know why Jethro was assigned in-school suspension. I informed him that while the word bitch might mean female dog, we don't allow that term in school.



"Well Jethro didn't say that."



Of course, I sarcastically thought. I called Jethro in and asked him why he told his dad he didn't say the ugly word. Jethro's response, "I didn't want to get in trouble." As he left, I looked at the AP and said "Deja Vu!"



January:

Jethro got in a fight. Same basic storyline.

Jethro lies to Jed.

Jed believes him.

Jed shows his ass.

We calm Jed down and tell him the truth.

Jed does 180.

Leaves the school fine.



March:

Second verse same as the first



Today:

Jethro pushes someone in the back and dares them to fight. I tell him to call his Dad, and that I will see him next year. Jed is irate. Tells me that I have picked on poor Jethro all year, and that he is innocent.



To which I said, "Sir, I am sorry that Jethro has you fooled. You have been up here on 5 occassions and all 5 he has lied to you about what has happened. On every single occassion, it has been proven that he has lied. Kids lie, I am sorry. We all want to believe our kids, but they lie."



I looked at the AP as they walked off and said, "I bet you a Snickers bar and a coke by September of next year Jed has forgotten that Jethro is a liar."